Curated by Emily Bihl, Rye&Rivet
We’ve all debated how we’d deal with a zombie apocalypse while screaming ‘don’t be a dick’ at protagonists in the likes of The Walking Dead. But have you given careful consideration to what you’d grab the moment a bloodied, flesh-rotten fist punches in your back window? I mean seriously, did any of those survivors think before they fled to the nearest poorly-secured refuge?
We’ve gathered together everything today’s style-conscious evacuee needs to keep on trend and out of harm’s way while civilisation collapses all around.
Side Project Jerky, or ‘Jerky for Gentlemen’ as its tagline goes. Top-notch, handmade from ‘well-bred’ meat, 2oz super-designed bags of the chewy dried beef which come in a variety of pretty exotic flavours. Try sweet and tangy Mongolian or Vietnamese noodle soup, Pho.
While everyone else is scraping remnants out of a tin of beans or boiling rats for supper, you get to chow down on some sophisticated flavours which will keep your taste buds content until you chance upon your favourite abandoned grocery store.
Vvego T-1 Boot Blade: This puts any Swiss Army knife to shame in both design and (probably) quality. And boy, what unique qualities it has. This knife is made from part of a turbine engine which uses the same material as the high-speed X-15 rocket, last used by the US air force and NASA.
When there’s no room to swing an axe, but you still need to deliver that fatal blow to something which is already dead, then here’s your answer.
Field Notes Expedition Edition writing pad: Tested in 12 ways, including ballistics, acid, fire and electromagnetic waves – that should about cover it! The hi-tech paper is water-resistant tear-resistant and can handle the most extreme environments this planet can throw at it.
You’re among the first to ever experience a zombie at close hand – take some notes! Or, simply use that chew-proof paper to document your last days.
Vapur Eclipse Foldable Water Bottle: This collapsible one-litre bottle will – when empty at least – optimise the space you have in your bug-out bag. For every day, pre-apocalypse use it sure is a durable and convenient eco-friendly alternative to disposable plastic bottles.
Fighting zombies is thirsty work and, besides, who knows what primeval catalyst kicked-off this nightmare. Can you really be sure you won’t need a reliable container to store your Holy Water sometime soon?
The Primus 4 Season Mug: This sleek polished, stainless steel mug is not only super tough, it also has a double wall insulating construction keeping drinks warm for you to enjoy come rain, shine or snow blizzard.
Firstly, until you know that zombitis cannot be caught by sharing bodily fluids, you should probably avoid sharing drinking bottles. Secondly, if the worst comes to the worst, throw the boiling hot contents into a zombie’s face then bonk it over the head with the mug!
Baracuta N9 GTX waterproof camouflage jacket: While it is hard to disassociate camouflage from the armed forces/para-militia, it is increasingly to be found on the catwalks. With a little more emphasis on style, but while keeping many of the qualities you would want from all-purpose outerwear.
Stay hidden and stay warm. You’re exposed to the elements, this will keep you warm and dry. Beyond that, anyone with the vaguest knowledge of zombies should be aware there are more splatters you might to protect yourself from than just heavy drizzle.
The Hill-Side Chinos: Made in Japan and made to last. This high quality selvedge chino twill fabric is 100% cotton.
You know any fabric which has its origins in military service AND looks good is the ideal clothing item to stylishly see you through the apocalypse.
Bear Grylls Parang/ Machete: It’s the modern day equivalent of the jungle machete used by Malaysian tribesman for eons, a must for every keen gardener/Indiana Jones wannabe. The blade itself is more than 30cm long and the product is endorsed by the thinking women’s favourite survival expert, Bear Grylls.
While everyone else reaches for their nearest pitchfork, go with something a little more durable and easy to carry. It may not have been tested for such uses, but while we know it can make short work of jungle vine, we’re pretty sure it’ll ably slice through zombie brain.
Frank & Oak Denim Shirt: Denim, when has that ever been out of style? This hardwearing and stylishly cut shirt certainly carries with it a sense of effortless cool.
Durable and resilient. Thick enough to work as a reliable layer during those long winter months, but roll up the sleeves and you’ll look good as you dig the graves of your recently half-eaten chums.
Le Mazel – Cuveé Raoul: A vibrant French red.
You might be living in a forest and not have washed for three months, but hey, you’re not a savage. Not only can wine numb the pain, it will also go beautifully with anything you’ve managed to kill, fish or scavenge.
Koppi: Swedish coffee producers which sources its beans from the world’s finest independent coffee farmers.
You can bet your bottom dollar your favourite cafe is ‘closed until further notice’ or whenever the barista reanimates’. Best be prepared, are you going to be in any mood to fend off an army of the undead without your first cup of coffee of the day?
Rooktown Bag: Manufactured to endure every day wear and tear and… war. Rooktown use leather and canvas from World War II stock and give them life as heavy bags and accessories – crafted by hand in Sweden.
Who knows what you’re going to face ‘out there’. But if something has been designed with the extremes of war in mind, then it should be okay for Zombie Land!
Leather Gram Boots: It goes without saying that this is a damn fine pair of boots – you can see that for yourself. But the full grain drum dyed leather allows for the shoe to be exposed to some pretty rugged wear without dulling. Enough detail to look stylish without being showy.
Sturdy enough to kick down a door if the moment requires, but smart enough to attend the Victory Ball come the dawning of a new age.